And there were more women looking for relationships, too. In part, I suspect, because the sudden freedom to choose the kind of life they wanted had led Lexington Code many to divorce unfaithful, inattentive and unappreciative husbands to try again. Many of them felt burned and distrustful, but were still in the mode of finding out what they really wanted, and open to exploring their options. The men, now abandoned and left behind, also felt burned and distrustful, and being clueless about women wanted, decided to wait until they found out.These days, the numbers seem to have evened up substantially in my audiences. Nobody has job security anymore, and men as well as women are trying to learn what they can to keep their options open. And as younger people have entered the workforce, they seem to have brought less bias with them regarding the abilities of men and women at work, and they come to training programs in fairly equal numbers. That's not to say that they are unbiased in their perceptions of each other. But then, some of our biases and stereotypes have been built over generations, and will likely take generations to change.
I think the most useful idea on how to improve communication between the genders is to improve communication, period. The more men learn about how to communicate with people, the greater the likelihood of their success in building relationships with women. And the more women learn about how to communicate effectively with people, the greater the likelihood of their success in building relationships with men.There are two kinds of assumptions you can make. Limiting and useful ones.Limiting assumptions are the ones that hold you back, tie you up, and trap you into self defeating and counterproductive behavior. Limiting assumptions are the ones you get to be right about, but there is no advantage gained. A useful assumption is something that gives you enough informed perspective that when you base your behavior on it, it takes you somewhere you want to go. You have to assume something. Whatever you assume, you will get to be right about it. So why not assume something useful instead of limiting?
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