The question of defining and maintaining the boundaries of the zone of personal comfort is of great importance, because our psychological comfort and safety depend on this. The ability to such protection can not just give us peace of mind when we go with a stranger in an elevator or squeeze into an hour of rush into a crowded subway car, but also to protect from the "tricks" of pickpockets, hypnotists, frotterists and other fans of large gatherings of people.
The following recommendations are very simple to follow, simplicity in many respects determines their effectiveness:
If someone unfamiliar tries to invade your personal or intimate zone, take a protective pose. Take a couple of steps back, cross your arms, push one leg forward. Your opponent will not only see, but also non-verbally feel that you do not want to let him close to you.
When someone tries to pressure you, invading your personal space, you can use a counterattack. Come closer, put your hands on your hips or belt, tilt the body a little forward, confidently look into the opponent's face and ask what he needs. Most likely, the person himself will hurry to retire.
If at work someone tries to break your comfort zone, constantly putting something on your table or occupying an armchair, create natural barriers. You can put folders around the edges of the table, put a few books and even hang a small poster on the wall. If you need helper of writing you can turn at https://edubirdie.com/narrative-essay-writing-service. The more individualized your workplace is, the less will other people's encroach on it.
When you are in a crowd of people, never fuss and do not rush. Move away from the main stream, go a little slower or faster. If this is not possible, grab your things with both hands and carry them in front of you. This will allow you to get a little extra space that no one can squeeze into.
Do not forget that you need to be able to deny other people, including even the closest ones. The word "no" automatically indicates that you have the right to make choices and decide what to take and what not. And this in itself determines the boundaries of your personal space in the psychological sense.
Remember your time. You should always stay at least a few hours a day, when you are doing your hobbies and what interests you. Self-realization gives self-confidence and strength, and time "for yourself" allows you to organize your thoughts. Invade the personal space of a confident person with order in the head is very difficult.
If it is a question of family relations, then be sure to create a corner for yourself in the house - where there will be something that belongs to you personally, and where nobody has access to you. From the presence in the house of its physical space for himself and his family depends on the psychological climate in the family and even harmony in the relationship.
When, when talking to someone, you notice that a person comes too close to you, tell him the direct text so that he keeps his distance. Explain that you are uncomfortable when someone invades your personal comfort zone, and point out that the optimal distance promotes a fruitful dialogue.
Do not discuss personal problems with unfamiliar people. Confidential conversations can only be conducted with those you trust. Otherwise, the opponent can easily break your personal space, using personal information against you - something that can hurt you and dislodge you.
Some people violate the boundaries of personal space intentionally - to provoke. If you encounter such behavior, try not to respond to provocation. Strive for keeping calm and self-control, increase the distance, remain indifferent (as long as it is possible, at least).
When you want to fence off people in public places, use a simple trick: take a book or newspaper (smartphone or tablet) and immerse yourself in reading. This will create a visual and psychological barrier between you and others. This cunning, by the way, is very convenient to use in public transport.
Communicating with strangers, early stop the possibility of violating the boundaries of personal space. Never shorten the physical and psychological distance before you recognize a person well enough. Otherwise, you risk being, firstly, misunderstood (your actions may be misinterpreted), and secondly, become a victim of a violation of the border by the opponent.
And some more psychological recommendations. Violation of the zone of personal comfort often occurs through pressure on feelings of guilt or pity, familiarity or unreasonable criticism.
In conclusion, we only add that you should not only be able to preserve your personal space, but also to maintain distance. Each person has his own personal comfort zone, and it is possible to find out how great or small it is, only by recognizing the person closer. Therefore, in communication, observe the golden rule: to approach people, both physically and physically.
- Sandra Willson's blog
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